35 thoughts you have when you swim as a workout

  1. Okay, I have an hour to swim. And its only an hour right? I can do this.
  2. yeah, I can definitely do this.
  3. It’ll take me five minutes to change out of my sweaty clothes. Putting on a bathing suit over a sweaty body is like wrestling with the devil.
  4. And then I have to go get my gear. And I’ll probably stop to chat with the lifeguard. So its really more like a 45 minute swim.
  5. And that’s what, a warm up, swim and a warm down. Psh, that’s nothing I’ve got this.
  6. Oh god I hope I don’t see anyone I know here. I hate wearing my bathing suit in front of people I know.
  7. I look fine when I’ve got my shorts on, if only my shorts were, like, permanently attached to me.
  8. oh crap. Of course two of the fittest guys I know are here and meanwhile I had twizzlers for lunch.
  9. Oh shit. None of the lanes are open. That means I’ve got to ~gulp~ share.
  10. Okay, just ask that old lady if you can share her lane with her. Yes, you can do this. Just ask. Just do it. Like ripping off a band aid.
  11. Okay so at least the old lady let me share a lane with her. She shouldn’t be in the way too much. Now I can really stretch out.
  12. Oh good the fit guy has left. Now I can take his lane AND go as slow as I want.
  13. Oh no. He’s back. He just went to the bathroom.
  14. Ugh that means I have to actually try during my workout.
  15. I wonder if he thinks I look like a drowning cat when I swim.
  16. Alright. That’s gotta be, what fifteen, twenty minutes past so far? I’m almost half way done!
  17. its only been three minutes?!
  18. I’m quitting. I’m quitting life. I’m just going to float here like a piece of wood until my time is up and then go home and order take out.
  19. Okay, warm up is done. Just a quick workout and you’re almost done. Only thirty minutes left. And that’s fifteen times two. And one of those fifteen’s is a warm down. Warm downs are easy so you really only have fifteen minutes to go. Okay, okay. You can do this.
  20. I cannot do this.
  21. Thank god the old bag has left.
  22. That was mean. She was nice.
  23. If I decide to do the butterfly will it look like I’m showing off? Well what if I just add it into my workout? There is no way I can do more than half a lap of the butterfly in a row. Okay nix the butterfly. I REPEAT; NIX THE BUTTERFLY!
  24. I going for the fly
  25. Why did I do the butterfly? The cute guy probably thinks I had a seizure while swimming.
  26. Okay, workout, done. Now time for a warm down,
  27. Just fifteen more minutes. You’ve come this far, you’re almost one.
  28. Okay, fifteen minutes should be up fairly so– what its only been six minutes? Ugh. Fuck this. Just fuck this.
  29. I might as well keep going. It’d be a shame to quit now.
  30. Tell ya what, you can order pizza if you finish.
  31. What kind of pizza do I want? Or do I want a calzone? or a burrito?!
  32. Definitely taking the mexican route tonight. Can you say Chimichanga? No I want a burrito the size of my face. I deserve . I definitely deserve it.
  33. Oh time’s up! When did that happen?
  34. I really should use food more often to motivate myself.
  35. Good workout. Same time tomorrow?

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